Outside the world was white and frosty with the northern wind blowing the cold snap this way and that depending on its mood. But in a small bungalow way out in the middle of nowhere, recently wed Ted and Alice were enjoying their first Christmas morning together opening their presents..
Ted opened his last present to discover a box full of multi-coloured golf balls – just what he’d always wanted. He lent over and kissed his new wife who was sitting beside him on the rug in front of a roaring log fire. “Thank you darling,” he smiled. “It’s just what I’ve always wanted – pink and green golf balls.”
Alice, pleased that he seemed pleased with her Christmas gift, sat back grinning. “I thought you’d like them. No more losing them in the rough. You can spot that pink one from miles away!”
Ted merely smiled. A four iron into the nearest water hazard should do the trick he mused. All around them lay the remnants of unwrapped presents. They’d opened them all – well, apart from one which he had kept hidden until last. “Hold on, I’ll be right back.” he told her as he jumped up and went into the kitchen where he came back moments later holding something behind his back. “Surprise.” he laughed, producing a rather intriguingly wrapped gift to her.
Alice excitedly clapped her hands. “OH, WHAT IS IT?” she giggled with girlish enthusiasm before ripping the brightly coloured paper and ribbons off. “OH TED!!” she gasped when she saw what it was. She was so astonished she could hardly speak for a moment as she stood there looking at it. “It’s..it’s…” she stuttered staring at his gift to her. “It’s a paddle!!”
Indeed it was. Ted sat on the sofa smiling knowingly as his young wife of twenty three stood in front of him with her mouth wide open in surprise and shock. “I’m glad you like it honey, now if you go into…”
But before he could finish she had grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the fireside chair where she handed him the paddle. “OH GOD!” she said excitedly as she faced away from him then reached down and grabbed the hem of her nightie which she pulled and tugged up over her wide womanly hips leaving her mildly bemused hubbie staring at her perfectly pear shaped bottom.
Alice looked at him over her shoulder, reaching up to pull away her shoulder length red hair. “You darling, darling man you. How did you know I’ve always wanted one of those ever since I can remember!”
Ted looked at the paddle he was holding. “Really?” he replied confused.
Alice gave her full bum a wiggle of impatience. “YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH.” she gasped. “Now hurry up and give me a round bakers dozen before I go mad with anticipation. Please, please PLEASE!!”
Ted looked from the long wooden implement to his wife’s swaying rear.
This was definitely a Christmas to remember for both of them as Ted stood breathing heavily from the experience of walloping his wife’s now purplish and mottled rear and watching as she danced around the room clutching it. He was at quite the loss for words.
Alice, overjoyed but sore, did a circuit around the rosy glowing living room before she hugged him and gave him a big sloppy Christmas kiss. “Oh darling, that was absolutely wonderful. I can see myself wanting much, much more of that sort of thing from you from now on. You heavenly beast you, I love all the presents you’ve got me but especially THAT Paddle!!”
Ted stood looking down at her as he held her in his arms. “I think you’d better go into the kitchen sweetheart.”
Alice gave him a look. “The kitchen?”
Alice opened the kitchen door and switched on the light.
She stood staring with an open mouth and gasped out loud.
There on the kitchen table lay a full sized canoe.
Was having a root around a bunch of old data cd's today and found this short Christmassy tale I wrote way back in December of 2006 (yikes!) Posting it here so I know where it is now!
It was Christmas Eve and the snow had begun to fall.
All about, the hills and dales were covered with a blanket of sparkling white with the bare branches of the tree's tinged with fingers of gleaming frost that snapped and crackled as the biting wind bent them too and fro. As the falling snow turned into a blizzard, it wasn't wise for anyone to be out in such weather.....
Over the bridge where beneath the river had long since frozen, the bright yellow glow of headlights appeared. Slithering and sliding slowly with it's windscreen wipers straining to do their job, the small red car wound its way carefully through the country lanes where inside the two occupants peered out into the gloom.
"Damn, I can't see a bloody thing in this blizzard Liz." muttered the driver as he sat hunched forward in his seat clutching the wheel concentrating on the worsening conditions and putting the car into a higher gear for better traction. "How much farther?" he asked, looking across at his girlfriend who sat wrapped up in a huge black coat, wool scarf and likewise bobble hat.
Elizabeth looked from the crumpled map on her lap to her boyfriend of some 26 months, Josh. "We're here, I think..." she said, her breath misting around them both. "Just over the next rise...about a mile or so." she explained, her teeth chattering with the cold.
"Thank God for that." nodded Josh. "Much more of this and we'll end up stuck in some bloody snow drift for Christmas. I can hardly see a thing and this rust bucket might as well be on a bloody skating rink for all the good its doing. Hang on..." he said suddenly. "Over there....the sign. That's it. Windy Nook cottage." Finally they were here. It had been a long drive, nearly 3 hours.
Who's stupid idea was it to spend Christmas away ?
"Oh..." he thought with a frown. It had been his. Him and his bright idea's. A break from the tradition of spending the festive season with family he'd suggested. Do something different for a change. Boy, this was about as different as it could get.
Of course one of the "real" reason's for getting away was to be able to spend some serious time alone with his girlfriend where there were no mother's or father's, brother's or sister's, grandad's or grandma's to interfere. He wanted her all to himself for a change. Elizabeth had agreed, reluctantly at first. So they had booked a couple of days away from everything and everyone.
Having filled the boot with presents, food and other essentials, they'd set off in clear blue but cold skies hoping for a more personal and traditional Christmas away from the hustle and bustle of friends and family....
The snow swirled around Josh as he got out of the car having parked it in a small culvet next to the old farmhouse. Tugging his coat tighter around him, he told Liz to wait while he unlocked the door and turned the electricity on. In the archway he stood fumbling with the key's, muttering to himself wondering why they hadn't booked a week in southern France instead. With a click, he turned the latch and pushed open the oak door which creaked and groaned as it swung ajar. Lifting his torch, he went inside and by its light he found the fusebox and threw the main switch.
Sitting huddled up in the car, Liz watched as one by one the farmhouse lights came on. Despite the chill, the setting was perfect. It looked for all the world like a picture of the festive season on a Christmas card. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea. After all, she and her boyfriend would be all alone for three whole day's....and nights.
Ahhh, learned some sad news today. Apps (the Ghost) the guy behind the absolutely brilliant and best spanking roleplay website OUR CASTLE has passed away. I loved that place and its ye olde wurlde style of Lords and Ladies playing spanking story games. Met so many awesome writers during my time on there and was so sad when it closed. Just wanted to make a short post in remembrance of a really cool dude. So long Apps and thanks for the great times and memories.
Happy first day of Novembre everyone! Problem of blogging about spanking in one form or another for nigh on the past TWENTY years or so is reposting stuff that I've already posted about ten years ago lol. Many a time I'm sat here in my old farts chair thinking "Hang on, didn't I post this in 1997?!" I guess when I deleted the original YEOWCH blogspot earlier in the year (doh!) when Google was going to ban adult blogs I had to start over once again. So here we are with a nice little photo where I'd like to think the above couple are just starting out on their spanking adventures - "Ooooo Johnny, now spank my right one!!" Yeah, that works.
Ya know, I've always had a thing or three about women playing with things they're gonna get spanked with. Oooo, the shivery tingles from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Bit like when you're at the local supermarket in the vegetables section and all those women handling the bananas right in front of you as you stand there like a twit trying to open one of those damned little plastic bags...
Blimey, been a flipping age since I posted on here. Need to sort that out asap as the old place is all dusty and covered in cobwebs due to no one being home. Yeowch has been around too long for it to just fade away so look out for more regular updates with more fun spanking stuff - just like the awesome photo above and one of my favourites from John Osbourne's excellent Triple A Spanking. More can be found at my other Yeowch blog. So keep an eye out here and bookmark this blog!
Hey everybody, how goes life? Apologies for lack of posts lately but I've been as sick as a dog these past few months and it looks like it ain't gonna get better any time soon sadly. So what better way to cheer me up than to post this awesome cover from a 1985 USA spank mag called Spankers Delight. Never heard of it till yesterday lol. Need to add more cool spanking memories to this blog to keep it going and remember to check out my other Yeowch blog with loads of cool free spank pix!
Here we go with another peek into what's going on with my other Yeowch blog where I now post most of my stuff. Big news is I was mooching around in the atic and came across an old shoe box and inside were my old 3.5 floppy disks and a couple of cd's where I used to save all my old spanking memorabilia from the ABPES days. Geez, I had to bring down and set up my old windows 95 computer to access those floppies but it was worth it!
Check out hot diggidy damn gorgeous Maya (pic above) getting her ass bun beaten for fun.
Classic spank mag JANUS vol2 no.2.
Spank Art: Caned for her pleasure.
Secret woodland spankings with Molly Malone and Amelia Jane Rutherford.
Dreaming twice of Spanking with Pandora.
Bad cosplay schoolgirls.
Showroom spanking with Alison Miller.
The cane for Chervana at Mikes 50's Diner.............and much more in the archives.
Hey, for those of you who enjoy my blogs just a note to say that, although I'll still post now and again on this blog to keep it going for seo and link requirements, most of my main postings will now be on YEOWCH Spanking Blog here. Add or update yer bookmarks!
Check out all the best and latest spanking updates like this one from Northern Spanking!
One of the fun aspects of doing a spank blog is being able to talk about some of your favourite people in the business you’ve come across in your spank mag buying years. This fantastic lady is one of them, Kiri Kelly. She of the amazing bottom and tolerance for having it spanked really REALLY hard. I first came across Kiri in an old second hand copy of Janus many years ago. There was a photo of her in an article about the American spank scene and from that day I was a devoted fan.
Kiri Kelly (sometimes spelled Keri) was one of the most popular and prolific fetish model/actresses of the 1980s and ’90s. From 1986 to around 1998 she appeared in hundreds of magazines and videos featuring bondage, spanking, tickling, and BDSM. She has worked with virtually every major video producer including Nu-West/Leda Productions, House of Milan (HOM Inc.), London Enterprises, Harmony Concepts, California Star, Shadow Lane, B&D Pleasures, Bizarre Video, and Evil Angel.
Along with Alexis Payne, Tanya Foxx, and Sharon Mitchell, Kiri is among the few recognizable stars to emerge from the early years of the fetish film industry. But unlike Foxx and Mitchell, she did not start out making pornographic videos. With a fresh-faced look that resembles a mix of Goldie Hawn and Laura Dern, the blonde actress specialized in playing sweet, innocent girl-next-door roles. Her appealing personality and high tolerance for pain proved to be an ideal combination for creating many memorable and hard-hitting videos.
She was discovered by “Spank Hard” magazine, who referred her to Nu-West videos. Kiri’s debut in spanking videos was in the Nu-West video Spanked Females 6 (NWV-106), released in about 1988 or maybe 1989. At that time she was going by the single name “Kyrie.” She once told that she chose that name in honor of the rock song of the same name by a group called Mr. Mister, in 1985.
By 1990, Kiri became a full-fledged video star, appearing in dozens of spanking videos for Nu-West. She then changed her scene name to “Kiri Kelly,” I suppose to avoid confusion with the word Kyrie, which after all is the beginning of a Christian prayer: “Kyrie eleison.” (“Lord, have mercy.” ) After doing films for Nu-West as “Kyrie”, she left, never to return, citing that she had been beaten with excessive force. She went on to make a series of videos with Jay Dee at California Star and B&D Pleasures. The burly, heavy-handed Dee gave her some particularly explosive spankings in Sore Subject, Hitchhiker Spanked 2 & 3, and Spanking, Spanking, and more.
Wild Thing, directed by Dee, won the 1989 AVN Award for Best Specialty Video. Kiri played a Tarzan-like wild-girl living alone in the jungle. It was filmed entirely at outdoor locations. At Shadow Lane videos, Kiri was made her debut with Older Men With Younger Wives. Kiri became friends with popular dominatrix actress Alexis Payne, and the two have made many films together. Kiri has endured some of Payne’s hardest hairbrush and paddle sessions in Naughty Neighbor, Our Sorority, and Hard Discipline (also directed by Kiri). After completing those films in 1993 she announced her retirement. A few years later Kiri started to appear again in some occasional film role (only with her narration voice).
Actually, it's probably a lot more as I kinda fucked the counter up a couple of times screwing around with the code in the Blogger back end when I was drunk or something. Anyway, 4 MILLION is the landmark just passed so we're good to go for more bum smacking fun so long as Google play nice. Thanks for visiting and being part of our little community!
Ah, the truly scrumptious Mel Penny and her amazing boobs and bum. Back in the 80's, she appeared in a number of classic UK spank mags including Janus and Blushes. She also appeared in a number of hardcore mags that were only available on the continent and rather awesome they were too! Really nice photo of one of my favourite spanked ladies.
Now THIS is what I think spanking should be all about. Your typical suburban soccer mom in trouble with the old man who keeps his hot sexy wife in check by smacking her arse - not only by way of discipline but as an intimate part of their sex lives. Women in long summer dresses pulled up to reveal a pair of tight panties covering a bulging bum and stocking clad legs. Awesome! Tanya Fox and Ed Lee show how it should be done.