UK Spank Stars: Mel Penny

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The Fabulous Mel Penny who starred

in various UK spank magazines during the

early and mid 80's including the classic

Janus era. Super hot lady with a great bottom.

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YEOWCH Spanky Award.

THE SPANK STATEMENT

Valdor’s Blog About Naughty Girls And Their Bottoms

The media is a broad canvas covering many different and diverse disciplines and the pursuit of spanking within that media is not an easy task. Those dedicated to discovering such lost spanking gems by either rumour or fact should be applauded for their efforts in providing proof that our favourite fetish has endured a long and successful niche in the public conciousness.

Valdor's, The Spank Statment, is a prime example of what can be achieved by diligence and doggedness, and the reward is a superb blog that is interesting, enlightening and entertaining in equal measure.

TSS is a place where the phrase "Hey, I remember that!" is a compliment to its rare finds of elusive spanking content and the way such discoveries are presented to the reader. Light of tone, the right amount of kink, and with a sharp prose, Valdor has created a place that is a must for the dedicated or merely curious spanking fan and it is a pleasure to give such a blog the next YEOWCH Spanky award.

Click here to visit The Spank Statement

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Jennifer Aniston Spanked..

BUT - I HAVE A COMPLAINT!!

What's with the female/female thing?
(yes, I KNOW it's Angelina Jolie but that's beside the point dammit)

Couldn't they find a man to do it?

Enough of this female lib nonsense...

Why the hell didn't they phone me?

Heck, I'd of done it for nothing.

MORANS!!!!!!!

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The BLADE RUNNER Spanker.

Roll on 2019

Already got my order in for a basic pleasure model.

sexuality: submissive.

attitude: kinky.

speciality: fetish.

inserted memory: likes to be spanked.

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Special thanks to the Tyrell Corporation.

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YEOWCH Funnies.

"Oh this? This little thing Shirley, is my basic

ready to go, anytime, anywhere,

woman with ass available for spanking

outfit I keep handy just in case there are

any would be spankers at the party. After all,

a lady should prepare for any kinky

situation that she may find herself in..."

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The Perils of Spanking Chatrooms.

As you all probably know, most internet chatrooms devoted to spanking are crap.

I remember going into probably the most popular one - Memories - and there were about 80 people in the room. It was like walking into the middle of a motorway. People coming in, saying nothing, then leaving. People already in, saying nothing anyway, and so on. I hadn't been in 10 seconds when I get two private message windows flashing away, one asexual poster asking me if I was cute, the other, if I fancied spanking his - HIS - naughty bare butt. HUMMMPH!! The fucking cheek. It was then I noticed that my user name could lead certain people to think I was born with two tits and a juicy beaver.Uhoh. I got the hell out of Dodge asap. I guess "ida-v" wasn't a smart choice on my part but there you go..

So 99% of spanking chatrooms are no good unless you fancied being chatted up by a bald hairy plumber from Munich.

But, sometimes you strike gold. And I did a few years back now. It was a small circle of like minded people with the ratio at 95% female - 5% dribbling male. Very fun chats. Good goofy sexy fun. I've never spanked so many women without using my hands or being on the same continent. Good people make good friends make post chatroom experiences. Sometimes though, these friends can be a bit naughty indeed..

This is the story of one lady. Her user name was Marnie. She was Dutch.

Everything that I am about to tell you actually happened.

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About three Christmases ago, there was a knock on my door. It was my gay postman. In his arms he had a long parcel with lots of stickers on it which he needed me to sign for. Surprised, for I wasn't expecting anything, I did so. It was then I noticed it had been posted from Holland.

I knew instantly who had sent it. It was from Marnie.

I suddenly felt a bit nervous and brought the parcel into the dinning room where I put it on the table. These days my dad stays with me as I have room to spare and he followed me in out of curiosity.

"Who's it from?" he asked as I began to tear away the tape holding the parcel together.

Now the old man has ZERO inkling of my "secret interests" so I muttered a "Er, just from someone I know on the Internet. We sometimes er chat."

So anyway, off came the wrapping and I opened the box.

Blow me down. It was a Christmas tree. One of those fibre optic one's and about a couple of feet high. I must admit to breathing a sigh of relief and took out the envelope which was lain on top of the folded tree. It was a Christmas card. I opened it and out blasted "Rudolph the red Nosed Reindeer" as if sung by a bunch of chipmonks. I looked at my Dad. He just raised his eyebrows.

I took the card and was putting it with our others when my Dad exclaimed "What's this?"

Huh,what's what?

I turned to find him holding a small oblong box wrapped in a red ribbon in his hand. It had been hidden in the branches of the tree. I could hear faint warning bells beginning to ring as I shook my head. "No idea."

Maybe I should take it off him and open it somewhere else. Like with NO ONE around. But it was too late. Dad was opening the surprise box and taking something out..

Have you ever had that feeling that time is standing still? Like the moment is frozen in a dream like state? This was totally, utterly and absolutely one of those moments. The reason why was being held in my Dad's hand much to both our amazement:

It was a 10 inch pink dildo.

It was a 10 inch pink dildo with huge eyes and a large nose.

My Dad looked from the sex toy to me then back to the sex toy which he was now holding at arms length as if it was about to explode. Me, I looked from the sex toy to my Dad then back to the sex toy in a sort of horrified fascination and knowing that I was going to give the sender of sed sex toy a good talking to next time we chatted. But things were about to go from surreal to way out there. For there was a pull cord protruding out from the base of the dildo.

"Umm, Dad," I muttered with alarm. "I don't think you should pull that thi.."

Too late. He did.

We both stared as the bug eyed 10 inch pink dildo began to jig up and down, and dance this way and that, in his hand.

You had to be there. I think I busted a hernia somewhere along the line from laughing too hard and my Dad got a bad case of angina into the bargain.

To finish this true tale, all I will add is that nights chatroom get together was one of the funniest things ever and is regarded as a classic. As Marnie said when I confronted her "Sjeez Ian, didn't you like my present?!" Wherever you are now Marnie, I love you to bits for this memory.

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So that is the cautionary tale about being careful who you chat to in spank chatrooms lol.

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YEOWCH Gallery #18

"Raindrops keep fallin' on my head.."

(what a great f@cking ass!!!!)

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Surfing the Blogosphere: Space Porn.

"Do Earth Girls Like Spanking?"

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An approach shot taken from the ESA Spacecraft

Rosetta at a distance of 630,000km from home.

Stunning.

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